On the Evolution of a Manuscript (or — I hope you like revisions)

April 4, 2007 by maureen.ulrich.

I just got back my package from my editor, Bob Currie. There were only four pages of suggestions this time — as opposed to 17 the last time! His comments, as always, were very positive. I can hardly wait to get back at the manuscript and make the changes. There are an inordinate number of typos still — despite all the proofreading I did. I sometimes wonder if I will EVER have all the commas in the right place.

I can’t even imagine what is was like “back in the day” before computers.

When I say this is my second revision, I actually mean the second revision of the 8th draft. That actually means I’m on Draft 10 now. I remember a time when I used to wonder why someone had to write 5 or 6 drafts of a novel. What would you do differently from Draft 1 to Draft 2, I wondered.

Then I received my first rejection letter from a publisher — with some blunt remarks (circa Simon Cowell) on what needed to change. Now I know what it means to redraft — weave in entirely new characters and subplots. Leave “favourites” on the cutting room floor because they no longer work. If you want to be published, you have to be prepared to take advice from people who know a lot more about the business than you do. You have to look at what your audience likes and try to hit the target.
Just the same — I have recently started to feel like Power Plays is NEVER going to be done — at least to my satisfaction. I just know I’m going to be reading a selection from Power Plays at a library or school and come across something I don’t like and wonder — why didn’t I see how lousy THAT sentence was before now?

Here’s a brief summary of the evolution of Power Plays:

Draft One - Jessie is a “bad” kid and has gotten into the wrong peer group; has a weight and self-esteem problem; Mark tries to psychoanalyze her all the time (Man, am I glad Allan Safarik told me to lose that storyline!); Jessie’s dad is having an affair (rejected by Orca)
Draft Two - Got rid of entire subplot about Jessie’s dad having an affair and not telling her mom about it (rejected by Orca second time and Thistledown Press - I think)
Draft Three - Introduce Kim Scott to the story and bullying at school subplot
Draft Four - Took a good look at The Outsiders and switched to first person narration (rejected by Kids Can Press and Annick Press)
Draft Five - Switch to present tense (rejected by Penguin)
Draft Six - Change Jessie from figure skater to ringette player (rejected by Fitzhenry-Whiteside)
Draft Seven - Add party scene at Jodi’s house and work on Jessie’s “voice” (winning draft - Coteau liked this one!)
Draft Eight - change scene outside Civic to include “Junior Birdsman” song; change team name to Xtreme; remove most of cursing (thank goodness for “crap”!)
Draft Nine - put in changes recommended by Bob Currie - many of which related to adding in more detail e.g. anti-bullying techniques
Draft Ten - Here I come! Add one more scene with Marsha

Naturally these weren’t the only changes made. I was constantly refining Jessie’s voice. Going from third person to first person is MUCH more involved than just changing the “Jessie’s” to “I’s”. My voice and language in Draft One was — in a word — stuffy. I had to sound like a fourteen year old girl. Had to think like her too.

Thank heavens for computers!

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