On the Day After (the 2008 Saskatchewan Book Awards)

November 30, 2008 by maureen.ulrich.

November 29^th, 2008 has been a red-letter date on my calendar for quite some time.

Nearly two years ago  (two days after the 2006 Book Awards) I learned Coteau Books would be publishing my manuscript entitled Not Just a Boy’s Game — then 54 000 words, minus several scenes, and unedited.  Coteau’s acceptance of my manuscript meant that all things were possible – including a Saskatchewan Book Award nomination in 2008.

That being said, I could have gone the self-published route and STILL ended up with an award nomination. But without Bob Currie’s help, I don’t imagine for a minute that would have happened.

And now, the day after the awards, I have to refocus.

No, Power Plays did not win an award. I was 0 for 3 on the evening, and that has given me much to think about.

First of all, it’s interesting that my humble little YA novel bridges a gap between the literary and sporting worlds. It is literary enough to receive attention from people who know a great deal about writing – but still worldly enough to reach an audience of virtual non-readers. That is something quite remarkable.

I wouldn’t trade the stories of “I read it in one sitting” or “I gave it to my cousin, who has a reading disability, and she read it in a week” or “I never dreamed that girls could be so mean to one another” for any award.

Ah yes, you are thinking. She’s just saying that so she’ll be able to sleep at night. And you are probably right.

Secondly, have I really worked hard enough to deserve an award? It dawned on me after Pam Bustin’s amazing book Mostly Happy won First Book, “Did you really think it would be this easy?”

Yes, Not Just a Boy’s Game and later Power Plays were my blood, sweat, and tears for 8 years. But I know I’m not working nearly as hard as other writers – or taking nearly as many risks – financially and creatively. I have the luxury of being able to write when I want and not have to worry about how I will fund my daughters’ education or my retirement or keep my marriage intact.

Thirdly, my husband pointed out to me this morning that Gary Hyland, winner of the poetry award and the Book of the Year, might gladly switch places with me. Gary is gradually succumbing to ALS, and struggles each day to communicate with his loving wife and devoted friends. I am blessed to be living this life.

Finally, how badly can I feel about NOT winning, when four years ago, I sat at a table at the book awards and ground my teeth in frustration as I watched authors walk to the podium? Even seeing an author wearing a nominee’s name tag and sitting at a table full of family and friends was a source of aggravation. How disappointed should I be that the cover of Power Plays was displayed on a screen THREE times – and that I was able to parade into the banquet hall in the company of Gail Bowen and Alison Lohans and Arthur Slade? That I sat at a table with our best friends and two beautiful daughters and a writing colleague, one table away from the Coteau family?

I’ve been living in the sporting world so long that I’ve been attuned to the notion that winning is everything. In the arts world there are no losers.

When we walked into the Hotel Saskatchewan last night, I saw the notice board, which listed events within the building.

Coteau Books was scheduled to meet at 10:00 AM on Sunday, December 30^th.

And I know very well what kinds of decisions are made at those board meetings.

And in that instant my entire focus shifted from the 2008 Book Awards to 2009 and 2010.

I’m 30 000 and counting. 

The zamboni has finished its flood. The teams are lined up at center ice.

It’s time to quit thinking about past successes and get ready for next season.

Anything is possible again.

Posted in On Writing | 1 Comment »